Rethinking Thanksgiving… How to Make the Holiday Work for You!
Unless you’ve been living in a cave or under a really big rock, this year has been a real roller coaster ride for most all living creatures. In addition to the widespread wildfires in California, the countless tropical storms, the controversial election, we’ve been coping with a global pandemic. Phew! 2020, surely has been quite a ride.
To add to the pile, I began the year teaching virtually, then transitioned to an in-person model, and am now once again teaching virtually. I’m also trying to offer on-going and ever-changing support to my two children, Olivia age 16 and Evan age 14 cope with their feelings of isolation, the monotony of their daily routine and the lack of relief or change in the near future. For the past 28 years, the district that I teach holds their parent-teacher conferences the three days leading up to Thanksgiving. This is inconvenient for everyone involved. The very last thing that I need is to stress about the holidays.
Here are some simple strategies to keep it simple and stay focused on all that’s really important.
1.) Focus on the now: What’s the most important part of your life right now? Is it helping to boost the spirits of your socially isolated children? Reaching out to loved ones that have been cloistered away since March? Helping your partner find a new job? Figure out what is top on the proverbial list of priorities and work your way down from that vantage point. It may be to spend some extra time snuggling in bed, spending time making a special breakfast, or hanging out in your pj’s for the day. For me, it will be to make sure that my kids are okay and that we get outside for our annual Thanksgiving Day walk.
2.) Keep it simple: Gone are the days when I would scour my Bon Appetit magazines weeks before the holiday, selecting the most challenging of new and exciting dishes only to then spend days shopping, slicing, dicing, baking, roasting, and preparing dishes that had endless ingredients, took hours to make and were gobbled up before I could manage to sit down at the table. Now, my sisters and I divide the list of dishes and each of us select a few to either prepare or purchase. Dare I say purchase, yes! There are so many great options available at so many local food stores. If you live near a Trader Joe’s, check out there extensive list of delicious side dishes and desserts that are available. I now only make the dishes that I enjoy and those that I have been able to scale back in terms of ingredient and prep time. I’d rather spend time watching a movie with my family then spending hours alone in the kitchen.
3.) Create new traditions: Given the need to socially distance and adhere to the ten-person- to- a- gathering minimum, my family will not all be attending Thanksgiving together. Sad and odd as it maybe, there is little choice in the matter. We will limit the time that we visit to just the meal, so instead of spending time at my mom’s creating our annual Thanksgiving Day craft, my kids and I will make something at home. We are going to put up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving! We’ve always waited until December 1st before putting it up, but, hey, this year anything goes!
4.) Get outside: We started a tradition when Evan was still in a stroller, where we would go for a Thanksgiving Day walk. Then, as he grew, the walk helped to get the ‘wiggles’ out before having to spend an extended period of time visiting indoors between both of our families. It’s become part of our routine, and we love spending the time together. We typically go for a walk at a park near our home that has sprawling, meandering landscapes, full of soft, rolling hills, babbling brooks and plenty of room to socially distance. I especially like the fact that the paths are even and not too challenging, as in addition to his ADHD, being on the Autism Spectrum, my son has cerebral palsy. Having to navigate challenging or uneven terrains is something that we just don’t even consider an option. Having access to exercise helps with my son Evan’s areas of high and low tone, and it’s also a great release for his ADHD and tics. Getting the chance to be in the sunlight, fresh air and change of scenery helps to lift everyone’s spirits.
5.) Be realistic: Try not to have illusions of grandeur about your expectations of the day. Yes, it’s a holiday and yes, it only comes once per year, but it’s not worth making yourself crazy over in regard to a specific ‘vision’ or ‘version’ of what you think the holiday could or should be. Chances are, someone will break a glass, spill something, there may even be an argument or two. However, at the end of the day, it’s really just another day, one that we can hopefully take pause from and reflect on what’s really important, especially this year.
Have a wonderfully happy and safe Thanksgiving!
-Kristen xoxo
