How to Prepare for Halloween with Your Special Needs Child....

Halloween can prove to be tricky for children with special needs. Here are a few tips on how to make the most of the experience.

As the days begin darker and end earlier, we can feel the air continue to grow crisper and drier.The sound of orange, red, and yellow leaves crunch beneath our feet, and by now, our circadian rhythms have adjusted to the start of the new school year. We adore our homes with visions of scarecrows, bats, pumpkins and all things related to an autumnal theme, readying ourselves for the upcoming merriement. There is laughter in the air as children begin to discuss their costumes, desire for candy and endless fun. That is unless you are unable to take part in the traditional trick-or-treating festivities.

My son has cerebral palsy, sensory issues and is on the Austistic Spectrum. The simple task of walking around school with the added burden of a costume can be overly exhausting, even with the help of his one-to-one paraprofessional. By the end of an ordinary day, Evan is plum tuckered out and wants to be home, quietly reading or playing a video game before he takes his nightly bath and attends to his evening regiment. By the end of the day at school where the energy level is amped up exponentially, the heightened sounds, activities and excitement can send him over the proverbial edge. Adding in the prospect of walking around endless blocks, up steep driveways, navigating uneven pathways, wet and slippery patches of leaf piles has proven to be hazardous in the past. Nothing spells ‘bummer’ like falling on Halloween and ending up in the emergency room with a broken wrist. To add to the challenge, Evan can become overly stimulated by sounds, flashing light, fog machines and unexpected surprises. He is also not a fast-off-the-cuff thinker, and when a well-intentioned person begins to ask questions, Evan is not ready to offer more than the obligatory, “Trick-or Treat.”

Over the past thirteen years, I truly believe that the world has become a much more empathetic and special needs friendlier place in which to raise an exceptional child, however we continue to modify the experience for Evan.

Take a close read of your child: Make sure that your child is ready for some level of excitement, whether that is in the form of a party and/or trick-or-treating. If your child’s threshold has already been met by the day’s activities, then Halloween might mean a night home with pizza and a movie. Be in touch with your child’s needs, no matter how disappointed others might be. There have been plenty of Halloweens where as a family we’ve been invited to attend a pre-trick-or-treating party and we had to gracefully decline. Over the years, we’ve stopped getting invitations from some people, but there are still many other friends that understand our situation and continue to offer us a seat at the proverbial table.
Get a sensory friendly costume: Due to his sensory issues, any costume Evan has ever worn was made by my very talented mom. She usually takes something that he loves, such as Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and makes a sensory friendly costume from that standpoint. For example, she purchased a super soft orange sweatshirt and pants from Fruit of the Loom Men’s EverSoft Fleece Crew Sweatshirt from Walmart for about $7.00. We washed it several times so that it smelled like ‘home.’ Evan wore a pair of his regular jeans (with a faux fly) that were lined with an ultra soft jersey material, which helped to keep him warm. Boys Husky Lined Iron Knee Stretch Pull On Jeans. Be prepared to have your child remove the costume should it prove to be overly stimulating or just ‘too much’ for them to integrate and manage. I always have a ‘back-up’ shirt just in case Evan is ‘done’ with Halloween and wants to separate himself from the experience. It’s very grounding for him and he’s often taken advantage of this option.
Identify a familiar or sensory friendly route for trick-or-treating: While carrying a blue pumpkin has helped to silently communicate to the world that someone with Autism is hoping to trick or treat, we’ve taken steps to identify a sensory safe setting for Evan. In our town, we have a mall that provides treats for any child that wants an alternative to the traditional knock-on-door approach to gathering candy. In addition to candy, the various vendors give out glow sticks, bookmarks, stickers, bouncy balls, etc. This is also a great alternative for kids with severe food allergies. The mall offers a setting that has a contained space, it’s warm on cooler days, cool on warmer days, protection from the rain or other inclement weather related challenges, there is ample light, it’s well supervised, and the atmosphere is very chill with the muzak version of Monster Mash playing the background. We have had great success with trick-or-treating with Evan at the mall, people take note of his need to walk more slowly and with greater effort and have been incredibly generous with their goods. Narrowing our scope in regard to the setting has proven to be a been a huge success for us, and we continue this tradition annually.
Set a time limit: We have a set amount of time before we begin to see signs of the proverbial wheels falling off, I equate it to the similar stress of getting Cinderella home before the last stroke of midnight, however for us, it’s more like 7pm. My son has a routine and a regiment that he holds fast to, no matter what day of the week it is, holiday,etc. On Halloween, I will either take a half personal day or my mother will pick Evan up early from school. She will then give him a snack, allow him to rest up from his busy day at school and then set off to the mall. I will typically meet them there if time permits, or I will pick Evan up at my mom’s house shortly thereafter. Then it’s off to home, dinner, bath and either a Ted Ed of some sort, reading or a YouTube video about the human body, his newest interest.
Don’t over plan: Remember that Halloween is just another day in the life for our kids who can easily become overwhelmed and overstimulated by all the new sights, sounds, smells and general change of routine. We keep it simple, and even in the days leading up to the Halloween will only accept offers for parties and activities that we can manage. Every year my sister Khara throws a huge Halloween party. Being a special education teacher, she understands the need for children who can easily become overwhelmed by the excitement that a party can present. As a result, we are invited to the ‘pre-party,’ this may include enlisting Evan’s help with some small decorating detail- usually involving coloring something, a Halloween related craft or having him play a theme related game before the other guests arrive. She sets aside a space, typically her back den just for Evan, where Evan can retreat to when he feels overwhelmed by the hub-bub that a party can present. Khara also creates a personalized Halloween bag just for Evan that includes some of the treats he enjoys, such as Goldfish, fruit snacks, a puzzle or a small stuffed animal. While we only stay a short time at the party, it’s great for Evan to enjoy at least one Halloween related event.
Divide and conquer: Balancing two children, one with exceptional needs is not always easy, it involves military like maneuvers, with careful planning and orchestration of details great and small. My daughter is a very social butterfly and often has multiple invitations to Halloween parties, trick-or-treating, pumpkin picking, haunted hay-rides, you name it, and Olivia is invited to partake in some sort of festivity. There are so many events where families are also invited, so in those instances, we weigh out the pros and cons of the setting/situation and decide who will go and who will remain home with Evan. This approach has helped us keep balance and a sense of equity in our home, Olivia is thrilled to be out and about, while Evan is happy to be home and settled.
Create your own traditions: Over the years, we have created our own version of Halloween. It typically begins by bringing out all of the non-scary decorations, smiling scarecrows (boy and girl versions) home-made bats from kindergarten, pumpkins and a peel and stick window decorations of friendly looking ghosts and smiling witches. We’ll bake pumpkin bread, muffins and cookies, and watch The Peanuts, The Great Pumpkin, for the umpteenth -but never gets old! We keep it simple, non-scary and open to interpretation as Evan’s needs and wants continue to change and evolve.
Choose your tribe carefully: We cherish the alliances that we’ve forged over the years, most of whom are family and a few close friends. They are truly invaluable additions to our everyday lives and help us cope when times are a bit rough. Halloween can send a sensory sensitive child over the proverbial edge very quickly, make sure that you are around people who can offer you support when needed. I work very hard to surround Evan with people that are accepting to his varying abilities and offer only unconditional love and acceptance.